


Why can't I help myself?

by Zombie_Elvis



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Self hatred and Doubt, Violence, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 00:59:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8946862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombie_Elvis/pseuds/Zombie_Elvis
Summary: A zombie apocalypse breaks out. Marinette feels like she's lost everything.





	

Sunlight can be calm and soothing, the warmth on a kitten's back as it happily snoozes the day away, or the cause of a perfect day at the beach with one's friends. It can also be harsh and unforgiving, creating angry skin with the burns it produces and bringing dehydration and death.

The latter is what Marinette had started to associate with it, if only for how it matched her now constant attitude. She was supposed to have been the protector, the superhero of Paris, but she had failed. Miserably.

She had failed her friends, her family, her home. She had failed herself, like she knew she would before even taking the stupid earrings. She couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t reverse it. This was permanent.

It was a warm spring afternoon just outside of Paris, and the sunlight was streaming in through the blinds. It burned her back as she sat there, but she still felt cold. Empty. The only sounds that could be heard were the soft moans all around her and the portable fan that emitted a soft whirring noise.

Her blue eyes tracked the thing in front of her as it crawled towards her. The creature that used to be her best friend. She doesn’t even know if she’d call it human anymore, let alone its original name. Alya.

The soft brown hair that faded to red was tied back in a ponytail, her signature orange shirt dirtied with blood and dirt still sticking to it’s body. It’s eyes bloodshot and pale, not the usual richness. It’s mouth open, searching for it’s next meal. Her glasses were broken, recently, by Marinette herself. They were still being crushed in the girls fist as she stared.

Al- the thing was moaning, grabbing at Marinette’s leg, hungry, starving, craving. Marinette thought about it, seriously considered giving herself up for the sole fact that she felt so empty. 

What use could she be for anyone like this? Ladybug, the hero everyone admired, couldn’t even save on girl. One girl. Who was she kidding, the second Alya had been bitten two girls had been lost. She could have stopped this, if only she had been more insistent that Alya be careful and stay out of the way. She was useless and angry and so so disappointed. Maybe it was worth it, just to give up. She wouldn’t feel like this anymore- she wouldn’t feel like nothing. 

Just as she had settled on her decision, she heard it. A loud bang, as what she assumed to be the front door opened, and two voices coming into the little house they had taken over after it all started- the meeting place for anyone who had survived. Two distinctly male voices.

Something in her brain clicked.

She dropped Alya’s glasses, picking up her weapon of choice- an axe she had stolen from a corpse, and lifted it over her head. Then she released, aiming for the head of her use to be best friend. She repeated the process, quicker this time, grunting out as she did so and ignoring the tears that flooded her eyes. Again. Again. Again. AGAIN. Her rage, her loneliness, and her disappointment were being released in this act of mercy- this act of protectiveness. 

If she couldn’t save Alya, maybe she could at least prevent whoever had shown up the joy of having to rid themselves of two Zombies.

Her guests must have heard her because the door to the room she was in had been kicked open and two people she recognized stood at the door, weapons in the air. Do it. Please. The voice in her head taunted, and she took another swing at the body on the floor, ignoring them.

The visitors, Nino and Adrien, were covered in blood and dirt, much like herself, and had shocked looks on their faces. Adrien saw what Marinette had been swinging at, and quickly moved to cover Nino’s eyes. 

He was too late. Nino had seen, and swallowed before dropping his weapon and carefully moving towards the girl with the axe.

“Hey Nette,” He cooed, carefully tiptoeing with his hands held up in a I’m-not-here-to-hurt-you way, “Come here.” 

Marinette looked up, looked through him, her eyes haunted. She dropped the axe, and it fell with a thud. There was silence for a heartbeat before she broke down, almost falling backwards in an attempt to put space between her and the corpse before Nino made the leap to catch her.

“Shh- shh, I’m here. We’re here. Adrien’s here, we’re alright, it’s okay,” He said softly, pushing her face into his neck as he rubbed her back and cradled her. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Nette. We’re here. She forgives you. I’ve got you.”

That made Marinette sob harder, pulling the boy she clung to closer.

Adrien watched the scene, unsure of what to do. He walked closer, and initiated a group hug after setting his weapon down. He could do this. He could be there for them, even if he hadn’t been there for Paris.

They sat there like that, all bloodied and bruised and uncertain, for what seemed like hours. Realistically it had been minutes. Nobody said anything as they separated. They all understood, with a look and a nod, that things were going to be okay- well, maybe not okay, but that they could do this. Together.  
\-------------------------------------------

The reports had started weeks prior, in places all over the world. Freak attacks, people trying to eat other people. People played it off as jokes (someone has gotten into the bath salts again) before anyone realized the gravity of the situation.

While this had been going on, the kids had still been going to classes. After all, no one in France had been caught trying to eat anyone. There were still classes, and TV, and homework, and Akuma. Life went on like usual.

Then, the reports started saying things like quarantining cities and shutting borders were a good idea. This worried everyone a little, the situation becoming more serious. Adrien worried that his dad might not be able to come home for awhile. Life continued on. Afterall, France was still unaffected.

The first attack was right at home, in Paris. Alya had managed to catch it on tape, thinking the phenomenon had to do with a world wide Akuma. 

Ladybug and Chat noir showed up, only to find that they couldn’t do a thing. Lucky charm didn’t work, they couldn’t fix this. People began panicking. The heroes began panicking. The Kwami had no idea what was going on. They said that Master Fu might know what to do.

Ladybug went first, asking why she couldn’t do anything. Why she couldn’t stop this, why she couldn’t save them, why she was now suddenly useless. Fu smiled sadly and said that she wasn’t useless. He gave no more answers, but a suggestion.

“Maybe the Kwami should go back to rest. For protection. Just for now.”

Marinette was in shock. She’d have to tell Chat. This was no suggestion, it was an order.

Her last time as Ladybug, she broke the news to Chat Noir. She tried not to cry, acting brave as all of Paris held it’s breath to see how their heroes would save them once again. Chat Noir got angry, refused to lose his Kwami and his best friend. He fled, hurt, when he suggested sharing their civilian identities as a compromise and she had denied it.

She returned to Fu, as he sealed Tikki. The goodbye was short. He took her earrings, wishing her luck and to stay safe.

She cried the entire night.

Three days after that, the city was going crazy. Their heroes were nowhere to be seen and things were getting worse. Someone from class started a group chat when classes got cancelled two days after the first attack, asking what safety plans were. Max suggested a house outside of the city that would be big enough for them and their families. He and a couple of others made escape plans.

Marinette’s parents had closed the bakery, and they had started packing to leave. She discussed the escape plans her friends had made, and they had agreed. Sabine stayed behind Marinette, Tom leading the way as they got into the delivery van to go. They saw Alya and her family getting ready to leave as they passed when Alya’s father was attacked. 

Things went to shit then.

Tom stopped the car, going to help with the broken broom he was using as a weapon. He got bit in the fight, and Alya’s parents had been lost. 

Watching Tom turn not even 30 minutes later in a tiny hotel room on the outskirts of town had been traumatizing. Before anyone knew what was happening, he had attacked Sabine, killing her. 

Alya and Marinette escaped, with two small children in tow. Marinette quickly figured out how to drive the delivery van, but they had had to leave it behind at the barricades leaving town. That’s when they lost Alya’s siblings. They made it just outside of town when they decided it was probably safe to stop for the night, and had settled down to cry and comfort each other through their losses.

Alya had taken first watch, protecting herself with the axe that Marinette had taken from a corpse at the barricades. 

They switched at around one a.m. and Marinette just watched Alya sleep for the most part.

They were almost to the meeting place when it happened. Marinette was in the process of beheading a zombie when Alya cried out from behind her. Marinette turned, trying the remove the axe from the corpse's head as she did so, to find Alya standing with her arms up in a defensive position, a zombie biting into the flesh of her left forearm. It seemed as if she was trying to protect Marinette from being attacked from behind, but had been bitten instead.

Marinette killed the thing attacking her best friend, helping to patch her up as well as she could even knowing what was about to happen.

She was numb.

They arrived to the safe house, finding nobody had arrived yet, and picked a room on the first level. Pictures on the wall showed that this house must have belonged to someone related to Max, for he was in at least one for every three pictures they saw. Lucky them.

Alya made jokes, trying to make the mood lighter, even though she was nervous for what was coming. She didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to leave Marinette alone.  
When she finally did turn, she attacked Marinette right away, lunging for her throat.

Marinette pushed back, holding the axe in between them. The push was enough to knock what used to be Alya into a dresser, knocking the zombie to the floor and the dresser onto its legs.

That’s when Marinette sat on the bed, facing her best friend, the sun beating against her back.

An hour later, she and Nino were out back digging a hole to put Alya into, while Adrien kept watch.

Life goes on and the sun keeps shining.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably terrible but I had to try angst. Comments are encouraged. C: 
> 
> Also this is Unbeta'd so please tell me if there are mistakes.


End file.
